How to Grow Your Confidence

Bottom Line Up Front: If you make a promise to yourself, keep it. Here's why.

Every day, I talk to women who struggle with confidence. They often ask me, "How does one build confidence?"

I've struggled with confidence too, just like many of us. In my journey to understand where confidence comes from, here's what I've learned.

Confidence stems from the rational part of your brain, the prefrontal cortex. This area produces complex, analytical thoughts and positive emotions. It allows you to explore, navigate situations, express creativity, and show empathy. When your prefrontal cortex is activated, you can access these abilities.

However, under stress, fear, guilt, shame, or frustration, your amygdala (the survival brain) takes over. While important for detecting danger, if it constantly detects threats, it reduces your ability to empathize, explore, innovate, and activate your rational brain.

So, how do you build and maintain confidence? It's all about keeping your prefrontal cortex engaged. Here are some tips:

1. Focus on Physical Sensations:

Concentrate on a single physical sensation. Try rubbing two fingers together and deeply experience the ridges of your fingerprints. This helps shift your brain from survival mode to rational mode.

2. Recognize Survival Brain Hijacks:

Identify when your survival brain takes over, usually accompanied by negative emotions like guilt or fear. Remember, your survival brain can trick you into believing lies. Tell your survival brain that you will not hear her lies today.

3. Keep Promises to Yourself:

If you promise to go for a walk in the morning, keep that promise. Breaking promises to yourself erodes your confidence, while keeping them strengthens it.

Understanding how your brain works is a crucial step in building confidence. It's not a switch you can flick but a journey. Consistently keep promises to yourself to reduce the power of your survival brain and boost your confidence.

By focusing on these strategies, you can cultivate lasting confidence. Remember, it’s a journey—stay committed and keep those promises to yourself.